A lil Update on the woes of job hunting

So after all that worrying i managed to get the application in, after calling my old employer a few times and managing to get the regional manager (who trained me) to call me on her day off and i also put down my old uni tutor without his permission in the hopes that sainsburys are better at getting through to him than i am.

I got a text last Wednesday offering me an interview :D YAY i thought to myself. Now i've had a day or two for the excitement to settle in i have realised something. The position is part-time (24 hours a week) which would ordinarily be fine, i could JUST survive on those wages each month until i can get more contracted hours, but now i have a new worry. The law for  minimum wage is different for part-time jobs apparently. So i have been told by various people when my old employer paid me £4.90/hour. Now I could survive on 24 hours a week on minimum wage, which for someone my age is £5.80/hour, but as this position is advertised as part-time i am extremely concerned that the wages will be under that... I really don't want to turn this job down though but the thing is, I am actually BETTER off on JSA even at £5.80/hour, the only reason i am happy to take that and be able to live a little uncomfortably is because of the experience the job will give me, and give me better options in the future...

I do really wonder what kind of world it is in which we live where you are actually better off not having a job!! The government wonder why they have so little money?? It's because they are spending all of their money on peoples like me's survival instead of spending the money to create more jobs so that people like me don't have to be unemployed. As for the people who live off the government and don't make an effort to try and support themselves, now they deserve to have nothing, because if they have nothing it may make them try to gain something for themselves. Gah too much worrying and thinking in my world right now >.<

Thank you for reading and wish me luck next Wednesday!! (YAY job interview 2 days before my birthday and i will find out whether i have the job the day before or on my birthday!! lucky me!! I'm either going to have a really happy birthday or a really depressed birthday because if i don't get this job i am back at square one looking at a mountain of jobs I'm just not qualified or experienced enough to do)


Goodnight :)

WAHHHHHHH

Today is a little rant about life.

I've been jobless for a while now and it's so difficult living life with nothing but job hunting to look forward to!! So I go to town alot and look around to see if anyone is advertising in their window, and i regularly go to the sainsburys cafe to get a drink. Usually i stand chatting to the staff for a while and I've sort of become friends with most of them. Anyway last Friday i hear about a job opening they may have coming up soon so i get all excited and feel really positive as the manager is one of the people i speak to frequently. I get told by Phoebe a girl who works there that he will be in on Tuesday (Today) and speak to him about the possible opening. So i do. He seemed very positive about the idea of me working there and tells me the job opening will be up on the sainsburys website tonight and probably won't be there long as they only left it up one afternoon last time they  advertised. So i get home all excited and go on the sainsburys website... Yay! the post is advertised. I eagerly sign up and start my application and to my horror... They want 2 work or educational referees with full addresses. OK now bear in mind I've only had 1 job before and went to uni 2 years ago now. I contact my old workplace... The manager isn't in until tomorrow so i have to call back then. I email 2 of my old tutors... Fat chance they will get back in contact inside a week!! Now what do i do!! I'm left half way through a job application that i REALLY need to put in today and i have NO possible referee's for at least 2 days!! GAH First finding a job is difficult, then applying for the damn thing is difficult!! Why is everything in life always an uphill struggle!! I envy people who are brought up into the family business and never have to go searching for a job. Rant over for now i guess... I'm going to sit here now worrying about what to do :)

Tats and me :)

Ok so this is a huge love and a subject I always use as a kind of "first contact" subject as everyone can easily talk about them TATTOO'S!! :D

So anyways, at the moment I have 7, and as of yet, I have never regretted a single one! I'll Post all the pictures of my current ones at the end to save you having to scroll so much :P

Back to the subject at hand. I got my first tat when i was 17 (shh!) and I was so damn excited, like a child at Christmas staring at the presents under the tree waiting for their parents to let them start tearing their way through. I only had to wait 2 hours between deciding what i wanted and actually getting it done, which is the kind of person i am. I get very impatient when it comes to tattoo's and if i decide what i want and have to make an appointment which is a week away i hate the wait. Anyways the first tattoo i got was a pentagram on my left forearm arm, start small i thought to myself! My second, was a Chinese style dragon on my right arm, that was one of those wait a week things i mentioned earlier, i got the outline done the day i decided i wanted another tattoo but i had to wait a week to go back and get the colour done, so it weren't too bad, still had something :) It's strange actually how after your first tattoo, most of the people I've talked to who have tattoo's including myself, start getting cravings every 2-6months for more tats :) Maybe it's the endorphins or adrenaline your body releases when in pain that creates that "want" for more, now I've had a few i can really understand how people who have tattoo's can end up getting *too* much ink! I would carry on listing the rest of my tattoo's and the stories behind them but hey, if you look at the pics and want to know the story just comment :)

Anyway now for the new ones. I don't know if i have mentioned it before but i LOVE dragons and everything about them! They just fascinate me and instigate some deep thoughts. So for the first tattoo i am hoping to get for my birthday i really wanted another dragon. I really wanted an ancient dragon (Wings and 4 legs) but that would be too detailed/expensive for me/anyone buying me a tattoo for my birthday, so instead i decided to go with my 3Rd tribal design (One on my ankle and one on my back already)

So that is the one i would really like, on my right shoulder/arm going down towards my elbow. The other design i really like is:

That one matches the one on my ankle but i have yet to find a tattooist who can do a 3d orb justice :)

This last one is one that will be my 2nd birthday tattoo after one of those dragons. I do have a fascination with pentagrams but that is more because the lore behind them is so diverse and argued. To be honest, i just love looking at them :)

Ok so that's about it for now! My neck is aching and i need to go eat, but i will leave you with pictures of my current tattoo's :) 

Thats all folks :) Sorry about the poor quality of some of the pictures :) Most are 4-5 years old and i haven't bothered retaking them. I think i may retake some today :) take care all and thank you for reading :) 

No general theme today just musing until i get into the rhythm of things

Hello everyone!

So today i couldn't really think of any specific thing to write about so i decided to just write and see what comes out!

I went to see the new twilight movie today and i have to say it was naff!! If your a twilight fan then by all means you shall enjoy it, if however you just watch movies becuase you enjoy stories as i do then don't bother with the new one until just before the final one comes out and you *have* to catch up because the WHOLE film is basically 10 minutes of storyline stretched out and repeated to fit into a 120minute film. There was only 1 interesting scene, but i won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet.

It's my 22nd Birthday in 2 weeks and 2 days. Is it strange that i feel really old already!! My parents kicked me out when i was 16 so i've been living in "the big wide world" since then, and when i speak to other people my age, they may have only been living away from their parents for 2 or so years, which makes me feel older than them even though they are the same age. It's strange how time and age bother us more the older we get! The main reason i mentioned this was because in the time i wasn't writing this blog i really got to thinking what i have to show for my "almost" 22 years on this planet, and the answer at the moment is nothing at all! I am jobless with little experience and little money, i don't know how people in their 40's and 50's in a similar situation to me actually manage to stay sane.

Also, i was thinking today about what i've spent my life doing so far, which made me think of gaming, which made me think of runescape/World of warcraft/Call of duty/Final Fantasy XI and i think if you add the time i have spent playing those games up over the last 6 years, it would easily come to 2-3000 hours (I clocked up 987hours on Final Fantasy XI alone) If playing mmorpgs was a career choice i would definately be the bill gates of mmorpgs :) lol

Anyway i think i shall leave it there for now. See yall soon

Just a small update

I shall try and keep this brief as we all have lives to get to (and i only have the 1 follower :P)

Updates from when i last posted... Well i've moved away from Kent and back up closer to where i was born (not a good thing by the way :)) me and my gf obviously split up which still saddens me. It really was one of those "I should never have let her walk out on me" situations, where you just *know* in your heart that if she had stayed for one more week then most of your problems would have been sorted. Anyway, she has gone off to america now to do god knows what with god knows who and she destroyed my opinion of her when i gave her money which left me with not enough to buy food, then when i asked for the same favour in return a month or so later when i desperately needed food she lied and said she didn't have any money. I hate people lying. I have never understood why people can't be more honest with eachother. Obviously too much honesty is a bad thing and would come across as rude, but more honesty than there is in the current day and age.

Im living in a relatively small town called maidenhead now, living in a rented room with my landlord in his house, which isn't a new experience but not *the* most pleasant one either considering i love my own space so much! Still jobless although over the last month or two i've definately started looking at myself from a new perspective and i think i am changing quite a lot as a person, i just hope it is for the better. Oh our cats sid and ems! Ems stayed with my ex in Kent and was doing ok last i heard, although my ex has ran off out of the country for a month so god knows whether her mum has even bothered to look after ems or not. Sid is doing great though. I gave him to my aunty who already had a cat called Jack and at first jack HATED sid and would hiss and growl and spit at him, but after 4 or so days, they were playing and sleeping together and eating together :) and my poor big fluffy ol' sid got neutered and i went to see him afterwards and he looked so much less manly and fluffy and more tiny and cute :( lol

Anyway i think i shall leave it at there for now. I am going to start trying to post again more often. If you would like to see that then please leave comments and ill feel more inclined to write more often/interesting things :)

Love eh :)

Ok so i said i'd tell you all about me and my gf. I can't sleep due to lack of nicotine and i'm starting to feel the withdrawl so ill take my mind off it by rambling to you guys :D Well just a small note on current events, we are no longer a "couple". I won't start blaming or writing about who did what but i will do as i said and write about how things did happen :)

We first met on facebook roughly in the middle of December 2008, Kate was at her parents for Christmas having been at uni for almost 6 months and had split up with her previous boyfriend 8months ago. Anywho, we met on a facebook app called speed date, i only went on it because i was bored and was just flicking through profiles thinking how bored i was when i almost stumbled past Kates profile, infact i did skip past it for a second and almost carried on but i did catch a glimpse of her profile pic as i was going past. She was wearing an amazing rainbow colored hat that caught my eye and i just had to head back to look more. I spent a good 10 minutes reading her profile and i remember thinking at the time how strange it was that we had SOO many things in common, i sent her a message and left it at that. A day or so later i was just doing "the usual" rounds checking emails etc when i noticed i had an email from speed date telling me "amberspider" had sent me a message, my heart skipped a beat. I logged onto facebook as quick as i could and so it was that me and Kate started talking :)

We spoke everyday bar 1 for 4 weeks and it was getting to that inevitable point 2 people who have so much in common get to where you just "HAVE" to meet and see if this person is too good to be true or not. So we spent a week or two deciding how we would do it and whether i should sleep over or not (The journey from my place to hers took about an hour and a half) etc and on the 17th January 2009 we finally met. I left as on time as i could that day so that i wouldn't catch kate by surprise and was so excited for the entire journey! When i got to leyton station i waited outside like we had agreed (so i didnt get lost trying to find her flat) i smoke 2 or 3 cigarettes nervously and tried to wait patiently for her to arrive. I kept thinking, maybe she lost her nerve at the last minute or maybe she was just messing with me, but just as i was kicking myself for thinking that i saw the rainbow hat above the crowd. We met and had that kind of nervous hug you have where you already feel close to the other person but have never been close physically before. We walked to her flat and she made me a cup of tea and i met her flatmate who was ill at the time and her kitty which i think i will always insist had the most likable personality of any cat i have ever met before :)

After that first day things just fell into place. From that day to now we have only spent 9 or so nights apart. Increasingly it turnt out though that we weren't as compatible as we originally thought, but i said i wouldn't get into that and it would be mean to in public so i will leave you with this.

You don't ever truly know what kind of person your partner is going to be until you risk it all, your heart, your life, your sanity, your trust.

Sorry for rambling again :) Once i get going i can't stop >.< xxx

Those things that we love and hate

So today we ran out of milk, chocolate, cigarettes, pretty much all of our vices. It's made me think just how people always do things that they know are bad for them but still enjoy doing it. I could possibly go without cigarettes and give up, but the second i can afford them i can't help myself buying more.

  It makes me laugh and sigh inside when i think about how much people rely on vices to get through every day life. Society has evolved into this big machine where everyone has their place which they have to conform to. Even if someone works two jobs and runs themselves into the ground its just seen as something that we have to do. We must work 9-5 and do our bit for society. I know we as a race would never have got this far if we didn't work together and all do our part, but ow we have evolved to the stage where there are too many people and not enough jobs to go around, soon there wont be enough fuel and food to satisfy our modern lifestyles that we take for granted. I don't know if im the only person that only sees doom in our future. I love watching these programs that show where modern technology is at and where it is leading etc, free energy and ways of expanding our health and the way we live. There is a drug apparently being developed which can increase your brains capacity to retain information, therefore combating the effects of alzheimers, ways of increasing crop capacity. Instead of using acres of flat farms for crops, building towers and having each floor for crop raising thus expanding the amount of space for farming. 

When I see all of these ideas it gives me hope but then i think, we are all now used to our lifestyles and we are destroying our childrens future by not changing the way we think. People come up with amazing life changing ideas but then things never change no-one ever changes. When we first found out we were damaging our atmosphere, what did we do? Reduce the amount of CFC's we put out. Now we have found out that we are severely increasing natural disasters and what do we do? Come up with hundreds of planet saving ideas that are all "Not financially viable" because they involve "free" energy so companies can't make money off. 

Whilst i am on the subject of global warming i really want to say this! People are always talking how the planet is heating up and how we have done this to our planet, when in actual fact what is happening at the moment (bar holes in our atmosphere which we HAVE created) are all natural processes! Our planet has done this a thousand times before we even existed. Volcanoes and other natural life put out carbon dioxide and eventually put out more carbon dioxide than trees can handle. The warming process melts the ice caps, which in turn reduces the salinity in the oceans which in turn stops the process in the atlantic ocean which brings warmth up from the equator and takes cool water back. After this has happened the planet stalls. The equator gets hotter and the northern and southern hemispheres freeze over. It just annoys me when governments and tv shows always neglect to point that out.

Anywho i guess i've rambled on enough for today :) Thank you for reading :)